WPCNR Letter From Rio. By Captain Andy. July 22, 2008: John, well you wanted a report on the ground from your man in Rio. Here it is:

Rio from the Statue of Christ The Redeemer. Photo by Captain Andy. Used with permission.

Rio de Janeiro, Copacabana, Ipanima, the names are all so melodic, and cause  a flood of romantic notions to fill the mind.  So what is Rio really like?  Well here is the inside story. 

 A tour package was  arranged from Sao Paulo for three days in Rio.  Included were the hotel, and two days of a tour.  The description sounded just lovely.  A fellow would meet me at the airport, would transport me to the hotel.  The next  day I would join a tour of English speaking tourists all with an English  guide, opportunities to make friends and see a new city.  So far so good.  

So I arrive at the airport, and sure enough someone is there to greet me. But doesn't speak a lick of English.  Go through the sign language, have no idea what this guy is trying to say.  After a long ride to the hotel, I find out that the only tour I will get is  on the last day. Hmmm.  Not what was booked.

Copacabana Beach.

So in the morning (not sure this is morning, kinda  still looks dark out  there)  I call the tour agency and ask about my tour.  Well it doesn't start today.  But it could.  According to my schedule, it should. 

So  the fellow, his name is Costa tells me in broken English that they are doing a special tour for me at 2pm, and that I should be ready.  So I rent a bike and do some touring on my own, and at the prescribed hour, I show up in the hotel lobby. 

No special tour.  Costa shows up to tell me that the plan has changed, they now have a bus tour of people that I will be joining.  But they won't be here for another 20 minutes.  In 20 minutes he tells me that the van broke down, and it will be more like 40 minutes.  So at around 3:15 a minivan shows up, packed with people to see the Christ statue.  But they need to make some additional stops at
other hotels to pick up more people.

Christ The Redeemer

View from the Redeemer

Suffice to say, this particular tour was called by Mr. Costa about 15 minutes before I was picked up.  It was full of Portuguese and Spanish speakers, no Englasia. The van had no air conditioning, but it did have convenient dark windows, so you couldn't see anything outside.   And afterward, I was charged an additional $36 Reias for this tour.

In other words, Rio is like a cross between the Jersey Shore and Juarez Mexico.  Everyone here is out to separate you from your money.  I had been told not to wander about, and to leave all valuables in the hotel. 

Rio Street Scene

Now I know why.  There is everything from street beggars, to sidewalk sales people to the more sophisticated marketing by H.Stern, the jeweler here, who provides "free trips" to his headquarters to see how jewelry is manufactured. Of course you get a discount if you buy, and it is tax
free.  Everything here is a hustle.  Ask the hotel for an English speaking restaurant.  They give you a voucher with names to ask for, and when you get to the restaurant, there  isn't going to be a soul who can speak one word of anything intelligible.

I understand there are English speaking hotels here, so naturally I booked through Sao Paulo, all in Portuguese.  No wonder this is working out so well...

So far, it is a barrel of laughs, but I am trying to rest a bit, which is fortunate, since I have
some down time for a day or so.

Hope politics are going well in White Plains.  Your man on the ground in Rio is signing off for now.  Stay tuned for further developments which will be broadcast as they occur.

Sunset on Rio Beach